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The Importance of a Hypno-doula

Stephanie — Mon, 07 May 2012 04:42:30 +0000

A while ago I posted about doulas and what a doula really does: What Doulas “Do”. For this post, I’m going to talk about the importance of a Hypno-doula. Let me preface this by saying that all (good) hypno-doulas should also have the basic regular doula training as well, usually through DONA, CAPPA, ALACE or the like. They might not actually be certified but they should at least be trained. This is because a Hypnodoula training is not meant to be a complete doula training but rather supplimental information to teach doulas how to use Hypnobabies techniques along with their other tools.

That being said, lets move on to what a Hypno-doula does. A hypno-doula is specially trained to assist a mom/couple who have chosen to use hypnosis during their birth. They understand the power of the mind body connection as well as the tools and techniques taught in a Hypnobabies class (or home study). This might sound like a simple thing to learn and it is as long as that doula is open to learning. In fact, many doulas will say that they are familiar with the techniques but in reality, that doula may have a fundamental belief that pain is necessary in birth which is totally contrary to the philosophies of Hypnobabies. If a doula is serious about supporting couples that are using Hypnobabies (or any other class), they should be willing to go through the additional training (if offered) or sit in on the class with the couple.

You may be getting the sense that this is a bit of a sore subject for me because well… it is. I love teaching! I love empowering families to have EMpowered births that can be comfortable and peaceful. Finding the right doula for you is just one step in the process. I personally don’t believe that birth has to be a power struggle where a woman has to earn the right to be called mom. At the end of the day it may be a struggle for one mom but it may NOT be for the next. It’s all about her journey. Would I be a good fit for a mom that believes pain is necessary? Maybe not, which leads me to my point. Find a doula that will support you in the method you choose. Talk to her and find out what her core beliefs are. If she is teaching another class than the one you are taking, there may be a difference of opinions. Please understand that I’m not saying that one class is better than another because there is no “perfect class”. They are all (well most of them) great classes with amazing information and they are all different.

What I’m saying here is that if you choose to invest you time and money into a specific class, do your homework / homeplay and find a doula that is trained to support you, or is willing to learn about the way that you have chosen. If she says she can support you along your Hypnobabies journey, ask her if she is a certified hypno-doula, if she has attended a class, a training or if she is willing to. Ask her what instructor she trained with and why or why not she chose to get certified. Check out the Hypnobabies website to see if she is listed. http://www.hypnobabies.com/mylink.php?id=3981

Why is it so important you ask? Great questions. At the end of the day, in the wee hours of the morning, doulas rely on their inner strength and their core beliefs to get them through. In the beginning, a doula can “try” different things that might work and if she doesn’t believe they will work, they won’t. In Hypnobabies class we talk extensively about “focus on what you want” and “what the mind believes the body will achieve”. During birth, a mom is on auto pilot so she relies on her birth partner and her doula to be her voice and sometimes even her brain. If a doula doesn’t believe that mom can have a comfortable birth, chances are, she won’t so do your homework. Ask for references from other couples that have used the same method that you have chosen. At the end of the day, you get one chance to have the birth you want so be your own advocate and ask the questions.

If the doula you choose is or is not a hypnodoula, can you still have an amazing birth? Of course!!! This is just one step in the process. One choice you can make that will form the complete picture. There is no such thing as a “perfect” birth except your birth so why not make informed decisions.

Vitamin K – so what’s the big deal???

Stephanie — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 05:21:57 +0000

I first want to preface this by saying this is not intended to be medical advice. I do NOT have a medical degree. Please consult your doctor if you have any questions regarding this issue.

ok. now let’s talk about Vitamin K.

A Vitamin K injection is routinely given to all newborns that are born in the hospitals in the United States. Vitamin K effects the bloods clotting abilities so with a low level, it predisposes the infant to bleeding problems. About every 1 in 10,000 babies is born with a vit k deficiency and in about half of babies who suffer this bleeding problem after the first week of life, many will die or sustain significant brain-damage due to the disease, because of bleeding into the brain. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends this as a routine procedure as there are no other signs of a vit k deficiency.

So it sounds like a no brainer for an infant to get a vit K injection right? well, lets look at the other side of the coin. First of all, this injection is usually given within the first few hours of the babies life. It can be traumatic physically and mentally. (Welcome to the world little one now let me stick this needle in your thigh and fill your system with toxins that I don’t even know about on the off chance that you are that 1 in 10,000) Well, if you are that 1, it is worth it and there are options. There is an oral option available so that eliminates the injection part. It also has it’s pros and cons so please do your research.

So then we move on to the “toxins” part. Make no mistake, the Vitamin K shot is a vaccine and as such, contains preservatives. There are also studies out there that link the vit k shot to childhood leukaemia. If you want to know more about what is in the injection that your child might get, ask your doctor to see the package insert BEFORE your child receives the injection and ideally before you give birth. Read the label and become and informed parent. We must also look at the dose that is being given. The amount if vit k is 20,000 times the newborn level at birth. This dose is based on an adult level and one of the side effects from too much vit k is jaundice. Vitamin K is also meant to be absorbed through the gut but given as an injection, it bypasses this system in a way the body was not meant to handle.

Lets take a step back for a moment and think. The rational behind the Vit K shot is that all newborns are born deficient in this wonderful thing so in order for the species to survive, we must give them this life-saving shot? I’m being a bit sarcastic but really, all babies born in the us NEED this shot? Where in other countries they don’t? Babies may be born with a naturally low level of vitamin K but guess what? Vitamin K is naturally found in colostrum! Once again, nature has designed a perfect system for the survival of the species. Vitamin K is also found in the dark green leafy veggies so mom can also load up on these in the last few weeks before birth. When babies receive vitamin k through the mom/colostrum they 1. process it though their gut, 2. are with their mom without interruption, 3. their levels gradually rise and peak on about the 8th day of life. 4. there are no additional chemicals put into the babies system for them to process, 5. we are honoring the perfection of nature.

Now, there are some risk factors that might sway a parent decision making process. If it was a traumatic birth including vacuum or forceps delivery or if the newborn will undergo a procedure where bleeding might occur (like circumcision, heel sticks or blood draws, or surgery of any kind), those may be valid reasons to get the shot. Delayed cord clamping can also help insure that the baby gets all of the blood, including vit K, that it needs.

The bottom line is to know your options and be an informed parent, question everything and make the best decision for YOUR family.

I first learned about this from the book “What Your Pediatrician Doesn’t Know Can Hurt Your Child:” by Susan Markel. http://www.amazon.com/Susan-Markel/e/B00467C0TW. There is also a great podcast with Dr. Markel from progressive parenting at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/progressive-parenting/2011/10/04/important-facts-about-what-happens-after-baby-is-born. For more information, please check out http://www.givingbirthnaturally.com/newborn-vitamin-k.html.

The power of Oz

Stephanie — Fri, 30 Mar 2012 17:19:38 +0000

The power of Oz

Today was a rather long day. I drove back from Fl as the only adult with my 2 kids. They are great kids and usually I have things planned out to include a stop or two and car activities/ toys. Today however, the universe had different plans than mine. We left late (so no time to stop and play along the way), the movie that I downloaded didn’t work and so of course, they went through their toys in the first hour. Ugh!

I did figure out plan B though: a book on tape. I have a (free) app with a bunch of classic book on tape so as I scrolled through the most popular ones, I saw The Wizard of Oz. I love this movie! I have never read the book and I thought the kids might actually enjoy it so win, win, win! It was quite long and as I listened, it dawned on me that it is all about the power of our own minds. The actual book is a good bit different than the movie. Some were some minor changes like Dorothy had silver slippers and not ruby (gasp!). Then others that were not so minor. For example, in the book, Glenda the good witch does not come to Oz to tell Dorothy she can go home but instead, the 4 (Dorothy, Scarecrow, the Tin Man and the Lion) travel through 3 different “lands” to get to the land of Glenda, but I digress.

When the 4 get to Oz the second time, after the wicked witch of the west is dead, they went see the great wizard of Oz for him to fulfill his promise. They find out however, that he is just a scared little man from Omaha that is just hiding behind a screen. Not being one to want to break his promises, he tells them all to come back tomorrow and he will give them what they each asked for: the scarecrow a brain, the tin man a heart and the lion courage and to get Dorothy home. The scarecrow is the first to come back to get his brain and we find out that his brain is nothing more than oats mixed with pins and needles (so he would be sharp). After getting his “brain”, he immediately feels so much smarter when in reality, the only thing that changed was his perception.

The Tin man goes next to get his heart and the same thing happens. The Wizard of Oz said he had to cut a small hole in the tin mans chest but it couldn’t be helped. The only thing the wizard put in there was a stuffed heart but the tin man immediately felt more compassion and love. The cowardly lion was last and the wizard gave him a green potion to drink saying it’s nothing now but once it’s inside, it will be courage because courage is only on the inside. The lion gulped it down as quick as he could and once more, immediately felt more courageous.

In all 3 of these cases, the only thing that changed was that ‘persons’ perception of themselves. In medical terms this is called the placebo effect. For me, I call it the power of our own minds. We all have within ourselves to be our own Wizard of Oz and yet so often, we keep looking for external validation. How many times have you asked your friend if you look ok? After they say,”you look awesome”, your confidence soars! Or have you ever known that you were doing the right thing but then stopped because a family member didn’t approve?

So what does this all have to do with birth? Well… everything! No matter how you are planning on birthing you child, you need to feel that it is the right path for you regardless of how other think or feel. Your mind is a powerful tool so why not use it to your advantage. Just remember, weather you think you can or you think you can’t, you are always right!

The benefits of “Negative space”

Stephanie — Sat, 17 Mar 2012 03:00:48 +0000

Anyone that knows me knows that I’m a pretty positive person so with a title like that, I’ve got a little bit of explaining to do. When I use the term “negative space”, I’m not referring to ‘the opposite of good’ but rather ‘the absence of’. Let me explain. When I was in college, I studied photography. Back then we used the real cameras that had no “auto” button and (gasp) real film. We did everything in black and white. We learned the mechanics of using a camera, composition of a good photograph and how to develop our own film. It was in this photography class that I learned the importance of “negative space” because without it, there would be no picture. A good black and white photographer learned how to master the balance between the positive and negative space. I love this thought because when we look at it like this, the “negative” is actually mandatory. It is the contrast that creates the art.

We can take this analogy further and relate it to well… Everything. If we look at “negative space” just as the contrast that creates the art, our view of life completely changes. The Negative actually becomes a good thing but how does this look in life. Indulge me for another moment while I use another analogy. I like to use the analogy of breathing. When we breath, we breath in and then we breath out, we breath in and then we breath out again. We do this usually, without thinking. We don’t ever stop and think “oh no, my lungs have no oxygen” and yet that is a perfect example of the negative space or “the absence of”. Just because the air is not inside our bodies at that moment, there is no reason for alarm because we know there is always enough oxygen.

If you think about it, everything has this same pattern or cycle: the waves at the beach, our heart, our money and yes, even birth. Even when things seem to not have this cycle, when we look close enough or far enough away, we will always find it. Anyone who has ever attended at birth know that there is a natural rhythm to each pressure wave and if we stop for a moment and take a step back, we will see a much larger rhythm. The ebb and flow of personal space. A friend of mine and fellow doula says, “An overly solicitous care provider makes a woman feel weak and disempowered.” When I first heard this, I really had to stop and think for a moment. If you think about it, when a doctor is ever present/ always there, the patient will start to think, “what’s wrong? why are they watching me so closely?” But this can and does apply to doula work.

I am a pretty hands on doula. I like my clients to feel supported and comfortable so this really got me thinking. If I am “ever present”, what will my clients think. Will they questions their own power, wondering whose strength it was that got them through? Now, I’m not advocating that doulas leave a birth for a few hours, I’m just saying that there is power in giving a mom her personal space. In this way, we can think of negative space as the absence of me. As I look back, a good majority of the births that I’ve attended have benefited from, or could have benefited from this negative space.

As a doula and educator, I don’t like it when my clients say “we couldn’t have done it without you”. My ego loves it but at that moment, it’s not about my ego, it’s about my clients. I want them to walk away feeling empowered knowing that they made the decisions that were right for them and that I supported them in those decisions. In providing that “negative space”, I allow a mom the chance to get to know herself and really find her power.

What Doulas “Do”

Stephanie — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 06:22:06 +0000

So for this post, I’m going to take you back to the basics. If you are reading this blog, chances are that you know that I am a doula but you may be asking, “ok great. now what the heck is that and what does a doula really do?” If you are indeed asking those questions, or even something similar, keep reading. If you’re not asking yourself those questions, keep reading, you just may learn something.
The work “doula” actually comes from the Greek word meaning “to serve”. Today, we use the word to describe (usually) a woman who is trained to serve another woman emotionally and physically during pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum. I am a labor doula meaning I am specifically trained to support a woman during childbirth. Part of that support involves education before the actual day as well as postpartum support.
So now you may be saying, “that sounds great but what does a doula really DO?” I can and will tell you what I do and I want to preface it by saying that every doula is different and every birth is different. What I do in one birth may or may not work in another birth for one reason or another so it’s important for all doulas to be versatile and to have a big “bag of trick”. A lot of my work as a doula is getting to know my clients, their thoughts and ideas about birth, their history and why they feel the way they do about certain things. Like I mentioned earlier, I do a good bit of education with my clients. Most, but not all of my clients have gone through my Hypnobabies class and even with that solid foundation, there is still a lot of information I share that is a little more specific to that couple and their needs. (sidenote- I’m using the term “couple” but by not means am I referring to just husband and wife. I love working with diverse couples and single moms too.) We do this education throughout a series of prenatal meetings. I like to have at least 2 meetings and more if time permits. In these meeting we really just get to know each other. I’m not there to tell that couple what they should and shouldn’t do but to educate them what they COULD do. I support the decisions made by that couple because after all, it’s their birth, not mine. We also talk about some of the things we may do in the birth, what that mom likes and what makes her feel good. I show her and her partner some things they can do before I get there and of course we talk about when they should call me.
After that, I’m on-call 2 weeks before mom’s guess date until the baby is born. That basically means that I’m available 24-7. I live, eat, breath and sleep with my phone and I’m always within a 1 hour driving distance. When we have all decided that it’s time for me to come, I like to meet the couple at their home so we can get into a good groove. I would love to tell you what I do from there but it is SO different from every birth! At one birth I may be supporting the birth partner and at the next, there may not be a birth partner. At this birth mom might really enjoy the birth ball and the the next, mom may absolutely love the rebozo. I like to incorporate energy work, aromatherapy, acupressure and massage and if that mom doesn’t like it, we move on. A doula does not preform medical tasks, they are there for physical and emotional support only. We find our rhythm until we decide that it’s time to move to the place of birth. Once we get there, we get back into that same rhythm or as close as we can get. From there, we keep doing what works until baby comes. I will stay as long as the couple needs me which usually ends up to be about 2-3 hours after the birth. When everyone gets settled and sleepy, I gracefully make my exit.
I stay available for the next week to 2 and in that time we do at least 1 postpartum meeting. This is one of my favorite times because I usually get to get me baby hugs and we (the birth team) get to process the birth. This can be such an empowering time for moms and partners and it’s so rewarding for me to see this new family ending one journey and starting on the next.
So now you know what I do but why do I do it? I do it because I love it but there are also so many benefits to having a doula, it’s almost crazy to not have one. Here are some of the statistics of having a doula at your birth:
-50% reduction in the cesarean rate
-25% shorter labor
-60% reduction in epidural requests
-40% reduction in oxytocin use
-30% reduction in analgesia use
-40% reduction in forceps deliver

All I can say is WOW!

So I now have you convinced that doulas are awesome but now, how do you find one? There are a few nationally certified organizations:DONA, CAPPA, and ALACE are a few of the bigger ones. This is a good place to start. Another good resource is your childbirth class. Your instructor should have a list of doulas that support your chosen method. (Don’t know which one to choose, we will cover that in another post.) I always recommend interviewing at least 3 different doulas and have no fear, most doulas do a free initial consultation. It’s a big decision and you want to make sure you choose someone you really mesh with and feel comfortable with. You can also talk to your friends to see if they have any recommendations. Just a quick note of caution, talk to your friend about their birth and see if that’s the kind of birth you want. If not, you may not want to go with their recommendation for an ob or doula… Just a thought. Once you have found a few, look at their credentials, ask them questions and then, go with your gut. Sometimes you just don’t need to know why, you just go with it.
I hope I’ve shed a bit of light on a new topic for you and if you have questions, please ASK!!! There is no such thing as a silly question.
Birth is a journey, not a destination.

Ups and Downs and a day of firsts

Stephanie — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 19:43:38 +0000

Today, well actually the last 3 days, has been a lot of ups and downs and firsts for me. This morning at 3:59 I witnessed my first c-section which included another first for me, being in an OR for the first time. That is a first that I hope to never repeat. It was also my first time at a new hospital, my first time with a single mom, and my first time working with another doula.

I suppose that with any 27 hour birth you are going to have your ups and downs so I’m not sure why these stood out to me so much. sleep deprivation? growth? contrast? I’ve always prided myself on just “knowing” how far along my client was without me actually checking but at this birth, I was wrong. I usually like to get my clients to the hospital when they are around 6-9 cm. With this mom, she was 3! She was an interesting new adventure for me. She is married and kind of took my class but dad wasn’t very supportive in the beginning so for one reason or another, she missed 3 of the 6 classes. Also, dad has not been able to be with mom for the past 3(?) weeks due to legal issues. I decided to take her as a client, knowing that this would be different than what I usually take, because I knew she needed the support. One of the great things about this birth was/is my shadow/apprentice/assistant doula (we’ll call her H). She is a new doula in training and contacted me to learn about Hypnobabies births so I agreed that if the situation arose, she could attend births with me. This was the perfect situation.

My client called Wednesday morning with pressure waves (that’s what we call contractions) about 30 minutes apart so we kept in touch and she decided that she wanted me to come around 3:00am on Thursday morning. I got to her house and she was doing very good handling her waves. They would come in groups though. They would be 3-4 minutes apart for about 30 minutes then space out to about 6-8 for another half hour to an hour. Each “cycle” would get a little more intense and a little closer together so I thought she was making good progress. I finally called H to come join us at my clients home. So 5 hours since i had been there and 24 hours into birth, things were getting pretty intense for mom. I got her into the shower and she said she needed to push. I pretty much knew she didn’t but I took that as a sign that things were again progressing so off we went to the hospital. We got there and really? only 3 cm? I was floored and she was crushed. (I usually tell my clients and students to consider not finding out the numbers if they choose to get checked for just this reason. It totally deflates mom no matter what the number is.)

Over the next 6 hours, we birth and we did our doula thing. We sat on the ball, got in the tub, used massage, listened to some scripts, hip squeeze, rebozo, ect… In the middle of all that, mom got checked again and this time choose not to find out the number. She was at 4 which was progress. After that 6 hours, mom was exhausted and wanted to get checked again to see if she had made more progress. At 4pm on Thursday, she was 6 cm dilated. It was another sign of progress but again, she was so tired she decided to get the epuridural so she could rest. Then her pressure waves started spacing out to 8-10 minutes apart so they started pitocin. Baby did not like that so another intervention and another intervention… At 10:30 pm she was checked again and had made no change so I started thinking it might be a baby position thing instead of an exhaustion thing. I pulled my fb friends and got some ideas. It was so neat for me to have that online support so quickly! We did some techniques to turn the baby for a couple of hours and I was so appreciative of H. Finally at 1, the dr came in and there was still no change after 9 hours… It was a very hard decision, but mom consented to a c-section.

I think in a lot of cases, a csection is looked at as a failure. In this situation, it wasn’t. For every birth I attend, I look back and say “could I have done xyz? would that have changed anything” and this birth is no exception. I learned a lot from this birth and this mom. She was amazingly strong and courageous and I know that our presence helped. So tonight, in Operating Room 1, 4 women were made stronger and wiser by 1 journey. 3 of us will never forget it and 1 will never remember.

Welcome to the world little TLP
6 lbs, 13 oz

Appreciation

Stephanie — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 02:50:53 +0000

Appreciation is one of those words in the English language that can be very non-descript and abstract. I’ve come to realize that the spoken word is so limiting and appreciation defiantly falls into that category. So, what does appreciation mean. The dictionary defines appreciation as “recognition of the quality, value, or magnitude of people and things” which comes close but what does appreciation look like. I can say I appreciate you but do I really appreciate all of you? Do I only appreciate in you what serves me? Can I look at the “non-serving” parts of you and still appreciate them? How closely is appreciation related to love?
This subject has come up for me lately because there is a person in my life that whenever I’m near her, it’s like nails on a chalk board to me. She grates on my every last nerve! One day, my ever wise mother asked, what are her good points? I said nothing but then I thought for a moment and realized that she is everything that I don’t what to be. She is as opposite me as anyone could be so in that, I gained clarity. Clarity of myself, who I am and what I stand for. Then, I thought some more. She actually does have some qualities that I envy like here boldness. She is not afraid to ask for what she wants. I wish I could do that more often and I would never feel comfortable doing it like she does so again, clarity.
So what does all of this have to do with appreciation? I have realized through this journey that it is easy to appreciate the ones you love but it is a bit more challenging to appreciate the ones you don’t. If you stop for a moment and really look at the people around you, really appreciate them, I think you will gain a little more understanding about yourself. Really look at your loved ones and see them for who they really are. Appreciate the parts that serve you and the ones that don’t. Then, look at the people around you that may be like nails on a chalk board and appreciate them. Thank them for being in your life and showing you clarity (even if the only thing you see is that you don’t want to be anything like that person.) remember, they a there for a reason. From there, “love thy neighbor” is not a far leap. Love and appreciation are so close and so intertwined it would be hard (if not impossible) to have one without the other.
Lastly, appreciation is not necessarily a spoken word but a state of mind. If there is someone close to you that you really appreciate, tell them. It will usually help everyone feel good and, it starts in your heart first. The unspoken words are so much more powerful that anything spoken ever could be so feel it first. After that, everything else just falls into place.
Look for pain, and you will find it.
Look for love, and you will find it.

The Tale of 2 Births

Stephanie — Tue, 15 Feb 2011 05:29:55 +0000

At the beginning of 2011, I set a goal of doing 1 doula birth per month. Today is February 14 (Happy Valentine’s Day by the way) and I’ve already had 2 births. They were both very similar and yet SO different. 2 moms with about the same level of partner support, approximately the same level of prenatal education (except prior birth experience), and both were getting regular chiropractic adjustments. Both moms hired me relatively late in their pregnancies and they both wanted a natural birth but were not completely opposed to drugs if needed so why were they so different???
Let me start with a little background. Momma “a” was having her 3rd baby and hired me because baby 2′s birth was a bit traumatic. She was induced with cytotec (which I really, really don’t like). We stayed in contact throughout the day and we both decided that I should meet her at the hospital around 4. I knew it was a bit early but it worked out good. We worked together for a while and mom decided to have her water broken at around 12 that night. She was 4am. 2 hours later, her 8 lb baby boy was born naturally while she was standing up holding onto me.
Momma “b” was having her first baby and hired me because she was from a country with a 90% (yes, you read that right) rate and she really wanted something different. She didn’t even know she had a choice to have a natural birth until she was about 7 months. She was also induced but with pitocin and her water was broken right away when she was about 2 cm. She called me about 9am to say she was fine and she would check in soon. At 4 pm, she was 4 cm and had an epuridural. The dr was supposed to come check on her soon so she would call me after that. I tried to call her around 9 and never got an answer so I went up to the hospital to find she had a C-section. When the dr came and checked her, she was complete and was told to push. After 2 hours of pushing, she was told the baby wouldn’t fit and she needed a C-section. Her baby was 7 lb 5 oz.
So what happened? I think there were 2 main factors in momma “a” having a natural birth: provider choice and focus. I don’t mean focus in that mom “b” couldn’t focus on birth but more that she was more focused on what she didn’t want because that’s all she knew. She had the expectation of a C-section even if that’s what she didn’t want. Momma “a” knew she could give birth so she expected she could have a natural birth. The second factor is provider choice. Momma “a” didn’t choose a doctor/hospital that was known for supporting natural birth but momma “b” went to the hospital with the highest C-section rate in Atlanta. Momma “a’s” doctor was at least willing to work with her and was willing to be flexible.
So where do we go from here? Do your research, do your research, do your research. It is never to early to start talking to your doctor about the birth you want. Make sure that your “team” really is on your team. Your care provider can be your best friend or your worst enemy. They can help you get around “hospital policy” or they can make sure everyone is enforced. The reputation of the doctor is a good place to start but communication goes a long way. If you can talk to your doctor and develop a mutual respect, it will go a long way when it’s decision time.
Secondly, focus on what you want. A good childbirth class, like Hypnobabies, will go a long way to increase your confidence and knowledge. If you really want to buy a new car, you’re not going to spend hours on researching horse breeds. Likewise, if you really want a natural, beautiful birth, you don’t need to focus on C-sections and drug interventions. What you focus on will expand so focus on what you want. There is no such thing as a perfect birth, but there are things you can do to get in that general area. Have a good support team around you and focus on what you want.

US Stats on C-sections

Stephanie — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 16:55:43 +0000

I recently attended a meeting about a proposed birthing center here in the Atlanta area. It was a great meeting and I think having a birth center here would be amazing. In this meeting though, they threw out some pretty scary statistics and birth and c-sections rates in the US.
The World Health Orginazation recommends that the c-sections rate be between 5-10% and anything above 15% could be more harmful than beneficial (Althabe and Belizan 2006). So what is the rate here in the good ole’ USA? In 2008, the rate was 31.8% and even scarier is that the VBAC rate is less than 10% and falling! On top of that 99.1% of all births are in hospitals meaning only .9% of births are at home, a birth center and somewhere unspecified. No wonder our c/s rate is on the rise.

As far as the hospitals here in Georgia, their c-section rates range from 20.5% for North Fulton Regional to 40.4% at Northside Hospital (April 2008 – March 2009).
Here are a few more frightening stats:
-Only 7-10% of births are attended by a midwife in the US even though the data shows these births are actually safer.
-76% of moms in 2006 had an epidural
-41% of moms went into labor on their own
-33% of moms felt frightened during their birth
-42% of singleton preterm infants were delivered via induction or cesarean birth without spontaneous onset of labor. (2006)

So what do we do? First, we as consumers need to be educated. During pregnancy, a high quality childbirth education class (like Hypnobabies) is a must! If you don’t know what your options are, how can you advocate for yourself. Secondly, surround yourself with a great support team. Find an OB or midwife who has the same philosophies as you and hire a doula. Last but not least SPEAK UP! Don’t be afraid to let your opinions be know. This is your birth!

Parenting your Parents Attachment Style

Stephanie — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 17:29:18 +0000

Being a parent naturally causes us to look forward. We are constantly thinking of the life our children will have and trying to find ways to make it better. Sometimes we go to great lengths to insure (or so we think) that our kids will have more than we did. As part of this process, most of us look back at our childhood and reflect on what we liked and what we didn’t like. This forms our baseline for how we raise our kids.
As part of my process, I consult my parents. I talk to them about their motives and experiences as my parents and then compare those to my experiences and thoughts. 9 times out of 10, those memories are completely different. My mother remembers an experience that she thought would scar me for life while I have no recollection of said event. So what’s the point? As a parent now, I do my best to be easy about life. I know that my kids will have totally different memories than I do and that each child will remember different things than the other.
Throughout this process, my parents’ mortality has become more obvious than in years past. I am fortunate that my parents are still in very good health so I haven’t had to face the task of caring for them physically but our relationship has changed. My parents have been divorced since I was 3 so I have very different relationships with both of them but each in their own way, our relationships have changes into friendships. This is an amazing asset for me and I hope my children. In this friendship though, I find myself doing a bit of parenting to my parents. My definition of parenting is very broad though in that it’s more counseling than “parenting”. I don’t scold my parent but I don’t scold my children either. When either of them are facing a problem, I talk to them to see what their desired outcome is then we work together to get to that outcome.
I’ve seen my parents handle my grandparents aging process and their ups and downs. When I was younger, I worked in a nursing home and I saw that as we get older, we tend to revert back to our childhood. My grandmother had dementia and I saw once again her process of reverting back to her childhood. The further her disease progressed, the younger she became mentally. I think this happens to most of us if we had a disease or not. The cycle of life is always an ebb and flow. Just like breathing we start out young and as time passes we get older. As more time passes we get younger again until we go back to the place we were before we were born.
So lately I’ve been asking myself, how do we parent our parents? The answer for me is just like I parent my children. This has helped me refine my parenting to my kids even more because I know that one day, they will be parenting me too. The way I interact with my parents is how they will someday interact with me. This is not a new concept but for me, it gives me a new perspective. I parent my kids with attachment theory always in mind so why would I parent my parents any differently. My goal with my kids is to always retain the attachment relationship so as my parents get older, that will continue to be my goal with them. I treat my children with respect for their physical and emotional space so I will continue to do that with my parents. As my parents age, I may find them reverting back to their youth. I only hope that I can raise them with the same grace and dignity that they raised me.